Being a human first is the best thing I did for my artistry.

You’ve probably heard that the best thing you can do to develop as a musician is practice consistently, efficiently, and purposefully. While I believe this is an essential part of a musician’s development and progress, I believe it’s only one piece of a wholehearted, successful musician.

This summer, I had the opportunity to test this theory in my own practice and performance preparation. I was preparing for a national competition that I had dreamed about performing in since I was 14-years-old. It would have been easy for me to put on the old hat of pressurized practice that I have worn for many years. It’s a practice system that I know well: buckling down, spending hours upon hours in the practice room, allowing the music and my practice plan to consume all my energy and time. I could’ve spent all summer practicing, practicing, practicing…

Except for one tiny detail. I had already planned my wedding for June. I was marrying the best person I had ever met this summer as well. I surely wasn’t going to allow that day to be anything less than magical just for the sake of the flute.

We had also planned several trips to spend time with friends and family in Olympic National Park, South Carolina, and Canada. There’s no way I was giving up time with my family and my first trip to Canada just for the sake of a competition!

So instead, I determined that my old system of devoting myself entirely to music wasn’t going to serve me this summer. In fact, it hadn’t really been serving me for years. I was unhappy, burned out, stressed, tired, and frustrated. Practicing rarely brought me joy. Instead, it felt like an item to be checked off the list every day. I was resentful that it was even on the list at all. I wanted to be excellent at my instrument, but it only felt possible at the expense of my life. I had been told for years to practice, practice, practice because whenever I wasn’t practicing, there was someone else out there in the world who was, and when we met in an audition or competition one day, they would beat me.

However, if succeeding in this competition meant sacrificing what was arguably planned to be one of the most joyful summers of life, I was no longer interested. Instead, I set my sights on something I found much more worthwhile: discovering my artistic voice, and intentionally prioritizing joy and wellness.

This looked like practicing efficiently and consistently, but it also meant that when I had the opportunity to spend time with family, I took it. I didn’t spend hours locked away in the practice room instead of hiking mountains, swimming in lakes, or being present with the people I love. I found a balance where I felt like I was learning the music and making artistic decisions for my performances, but also living my life to the fullest.

I was joyful, happy, fulfilled. When it came time for the competition, I was excited to share my artistry. I kept my mind in the present and on all of the wonderful experiences of this summer instead of worrying about advancing through rounds, or how many hours my competitors had practiced, or if I could “beat” my competition. It wasn’t easy – I wanted to slip back to my old beliefs and habits often.

Nevertheless, I persevered and I had so much fun. I enjoyed performing. I was thrilled to present what I had been working on. I enjoyed spending time with the loved ones who had come to support me. I truly felt like I had found my artistic voice and presented it with confidence, and that felt like a huge win to me.

My artistic voice connected through the judges, and they advanced me through multiple rounds to the finals. That recognition felt like the cherry on top of an already exciting accomplishment. When I won third prize overall, it felt like I had already won the whole thing because I was so proud of what I had done that summer – I lived a full life and worked hard and learned so much about myself in the process. I truly believed that the fullness of my life had added to my performances. The joy in my life moved through my music to my audiences.

This felt like a shift in my musical trajectory that I plan to share with all my students. It is my hope and intention for every student I work with to understand that

1)    Your humanity is what brings out your artistry

2)    Hard work is more meaningful when your life is full

3)    And sacrificing the things that bring you joy is not necessary for success.

Being a human first all summer made me a better artist, a better educator, and a better professional musician. Let’s choose our humanity first whenever possible – it’ll give you more than you can even imagine.